Real bookmarks are great in theory. But in practice? Readers will use any object in arm’s reach when a munchies craving strikes mid-chapter.
Which is how books end up containing:
- CVS receipts
- boarding passes
- grocery lists
- expired coupons
- sticky notes
- pressed flowers
- or something that looks suspiciously like forensic evidence
Entire Reddit threads and BookTok videos are dedicated to the bizarre objects people have used to save their place in books, proving readers are less “organized hobbyists” and more “feral raccoons with emotional support novels.”
So in honor of reader chaos everywhere, here’s our completely unofficial ranking of the most unhinged things ever used as bookmarks.
A Tortilla
You heard that right ... a tortilla. Or even worse? An entire taco!
The internet has repeatedly produced stories of readers using objectively terrible items as bookmarks, including food wrappers, napkins, slices of cheese, and yes, apparently tortillas full of luscious ground beef, shredded lettuce and gobs or orange grease.
Somewhere out there is a reader who paused a chapter and thought: “Yeah. Okay, the yums can wait.”
These Reddit users had the right take:
This isn't organization; it's (admittedly delicious) performance art.
A Slice of American Cheese
Ugh. Just ugh. The University of Liverpool Library posted about finding crusty cheese at least THREE TIMES and humanity has never emotionally recovered.
According to BBC, associate director Alex Widdeson said the "disconcertingly warm and liquid" slice was discovered "somewhere between American history and geography."
The jokes honestly write themselves.
Their Own Hair
We regret to inform you this happens more than you think.
Imagine borrowing a book and finding: A strand of hair ... delicately folded between Chapters 12 and 13 ... like a cursed Victorian keepsake.
Suddenly you’re not reading spicy romantacy anymore. You’re in a haunting.
Divorce Papers
Nothing says “this chapter hit hard” like legally dissolving a marriage between pages 214 and 215.
Honestly though? At least we know who ended up getting the books.
An Expired Driver’s License
There’s something deeply poetic about using expired identification to hold your place in a gritty mystery novel.
Like yes. You may no longer legally drive. But you will skip to the end to figure out whodunnit.
Cash
Read: Rich people behavior.
The rest of us panic when we lose a dollar in the couch cushions.
Meanwhile some readers are casually storing emergency twenties inside paperback thrillers like literary squirrels preparing for cozy winter reading.
Tax Documents
Nothing says “healthy work-life balance” like using IRS paperwork to mark your place in a feisty piece of period fiction.
Accountants deserve whimsy too, right?
Vape Packaging
BookTok energy.
No further notes.
Absolutely Nothing
Now we get to the true psychopaths. They just remember the page number.
No bookmark. No folded corner. No receipt.
Just raw memory and unchecked confidence.
Terrifying behavior.
Why Readers Actually Do This
Readers are improvisers.
You start a book and suddenly every nearby object becomes a potential placeholder:
- coffee sleeves
- airline tickets
- takeout receipts
- wedding invitations
- old Polaroids
- emotional baggage
And honestly? We support it. But maybe your current read deserves something slightly more dignified than a crumpled Taco Bell receipt with mild sauce stains.
That’s where we come in ... right? RIGHT???